Carter’s Credit Card Conundrum

Speculative journalism at it’s best:

Maverick Labour MP, Chris Carter astounded members of the Press Gallery today when he used illict substances and started a dance party during a press conference today.

Carter, embattled over his credit card spending habits while a Minister, was obviously showing the signs of stress as he entered the conference.

“I would just like to say to the people of New Zealand, the people of Te Atatū, the Labour Party and my caucus collegues: FUCK YOU ALL,” Carter said as he cut a fat line of cocaine with his credit card.

“One of my staff bought this on a credit card, I take no responsibility,” Carter said in an elated tone as his red eyes surveyed the crowd.

At this point Carter motioned to an aide who dimmed the lights, lowered a disco ball and dropped a pumping bass line.

“I have decided to make the most out of the rest of my time in Parliament. It’s not going to get any worse so let’s just live it up – Bollinger all round,” Carter roared over the thump of Ke$ha’s ‘Tik Tok‘.